The inevitable

Okay and so the inevitable has happened...

AF came today and it's finally sinking in.  We failed after all.  Fear not.  There will always be a next cycle, the following cycle and so on.  We'll just have to keep on trying.

And so what's next?

The brown discharge from yesterday turned out to be day 1 of my AF.  So as per our RE's advice I should take femara on the 2nd day, twice a day for 10 days and we'll meet with her again on the 18th.

I'll have my Prolactin, TSH, FSH checked tomorrow.  I hope I'd see better results.

My husband is such an eager freak.  He said we'll try this cycle again with an IUI and if we fail then he said he is willing to do an IVF.

He said that we should always take chances.  And do everything we can to survive this.  Whenever he said that-my fears and anxieties just went away.  I find an inner solace.

I know one day I'll be receiving the gift more than money could ever buy.  I know one day God will grant me the missing red line.

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Stay positive

Follow up...

Got the Beta HCG result - it said zero! My husband could not accept the result and he kept mumbling about it.  Maybe the test was done too soon...  I'm keeping the hopes up but still I want to see my options.  Our RE prescribed duphaston once a day for 3 days.  If I got my period then I'll take the femara 2x daily for 10 days on the 2nd day.

If not then we'll wait for the 18th to see if I'm really preggo (hopefully). I feel bad not because of the result.  I feel bad for my husband.  It's his birthday on the 22nd and I want him to be happy.  And this is all he's asking for.

My husband is neither materialistic nor selfish so as perfect. He has his not so good moments but so do I.  I'm not saying all the good things because he is my husband. But because he is literally a big person with a big heart.  He maybe s child at times.  But he has never left me when times are rough.

 

He makes sure that we have a good life.
He listens to me at all times - my not so funny jokes, my out of tune singing, my complains! my non sense stories, etc. etc.
He makes sure our life's complete even if we know we are still missing something.

I know the result broke his heart.  I told him to keep on hoping and if we fail this cycle we still have another one.  We'll just have to keep on trying.  I told him not to dwell long on the situation we just have to keep on moving and stay positive.

I guess he took my words by heart.  I maybe frigid and tough at times.  But, deep inside there are no words to express the love and gratefulness I have for him.  He is the best thing that has ever happened in my life.  And the feelings are still the same from the first time we've met.

Iloveyoudadaforever...

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15 dpiui

My BBs are still sore and vomited last night like 3x.  I'm feeling tired and irritable and sleepy.

Today's our follow up to see what is happening.   I've undergone ultrasound to check my endometrium.  Our RE said that it's good. It's thick. I was given Crinone 90 mg to be administered intravaginally every night for two days.  A beta serum HCG was also ordered by our doctor.  The results will go directly to her office so we wouldn't know the result not until Saturday. 

My husband just can't wait.  This is his birth month and he said he couldn't ask for anything else.  He has been continuously saying that since day 1 of iui.

I hope God would hear his prayers because we are praying for the same thing.  But if God would not give what we ask for now.  Maybe it's not yet time and we would keep on trying.  There's always hope. As long as we have each other.  And as long as we love each other nothing is imposible.


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